It's hard sometimes to not think about the future. I look at my symptoms compared to what they were two years ago. I see how much more frequent things are and how much faster they occur. It's hard to not get discouraged and think about where things be at 10 or 15 years from now. What will it be like when I'm 50? (That's 17 if you want to do the math)
There has been an ALS ice bucket challenge and I think about the awareness it is bringing. 400% increase in donations! That's awesome and amazing. It's a scary disease as it hits hard and fast. What I wish is that MS has the same awareness brought to it. There are many with progressive MS and 65% of people with Relapsing remitting MS will develop SPMS (secondary progressive MS) within 15 years. This is when your symptoms or relapses never go away completely and the conditions continually get worse. It sometimes feels as though the odds aren't all that great.
In the last couple of months I've noticed that I'm losing feeling in my feet. It's not returning. And my face on the left side usually has slight numbness on a regular basis on and off throughout the day. It's not major things but it's slow and sometimes easy to forget where I was a few months ago. I heard one person say that they love the MS walk but the one bad thing is that they notice how different it is for them every year. They see the decrease in capabilities. I think that's a good way to put it. Sometimes I forget what normal feel likes cause I'm always adjusting to a new normal. In a sad way this blog will help me look back and remember. I hope 15 years from now I can look back and see not much difference but I'll be honest...its tough to think like that. Maybe just maybe in 15 years thee will be a way to fix me.