Wednesday, 22 January 2014

What does it really mean?

What do I think of research?  Do I believe they will find a cure for MS? Those are tough questions because I don't have a straight forward answer. 

People come knocking on your door. Others phone. Everywhere you go it always seems like there is some other charity or cause to give to. So what does it mean when you give to a cause?  It depends I guess. Depends if it's something near and dear to you or just an obligation or in support of someone. 

Sometimes I feel like research is futile. Cancer is still out there, Aids, Diabetes, Heart Disease etc.  But when it comes to MS it is now something that is obviously near and dear to my heart. Was it before?  Nope!  I didn't even realize what it was. It was just something I had heard of before, and I had many misconceptions about it. 

Last year I decided to start a team "Grace" to participate in the MS walk. I had never done anything like this.  Little did I know that this team would grow to over 30 members and raise almost $10,000!!  The Morden coordinators were shocked. We were in the paper, and my husband was interviewed on the radio.  And in all of that it helped me. I'm not used to having people know how I have something wrong with me. The interview with the paper and radio was something my husband did because I just couldn't tell them. I couldn't say what wrong. I felt ashamed. I felt like everyone was now staring at me and it made me uncomfortable to ask people for money. So what did I do?  I "Facebooked" it....a lot!!  What happened?  We raised a lot of money!  Even if I annoyed the heck out people! Lol. And the next best thing was was that I felt support. It was more than just the fact of people giving money. It showed that people actually cared. People I had not seen since high school, people in the community that we had only been in for 2 years gave us money from their wallets. Hard earned money that could have been used on so many other things. They gave our support of me. 

Research for MS has come a LONG way. More so than many other diseases. Medicine from 20 years ago has changed the course of MS drastically. So yes I have hope. And not a fleeting kind of hope but a strong hope that there will be more breakthroughs giving people back their quality of life. 

So when you give know that it means more than just the fact of raising dollars. It shows the person you care. No matter who you are or what you are giving to. It matters to someone. 

To make a donation or to join team Grace in the Morden walk go to 

Monday, 6 January 2014

My Heart Breaks For The Man I Love

I'm struggling with what to call this post. In some ways the inevitable has finally happened. The walls of Jericho tumbling down may seem excessive but somehow fitting.  The mighty giant has fallen?  That too seems a bit exaggeratory.  However I hope you can catch my drift.

We've all heard the saying of when life gives you lemons, make lemonade.  That's easier said than done.  It sometimes feels like it takes the length of making wine. And hopefully when it's finished it tastes good or you waited that long for nothing. Okay enough with the metaphors. Especially since I don't even like wine.

My husband has finally let this hit him. And now he has a to take the road ahead. A road that not many have travelled. I have. It's tough. Every day is a decision. Not to be angry. To get out of bed. To put one foot in front of the other.

Asking God "why?"  I'm not sure what the stages of grief are but I know one of them is anger. Probably the biggest one that I've had to go through. Questioning God and just being plain mad!  I don't know what the days ahead look like. I don't know how to help him. I don't think I can other than to be by his side like he was for me and to pray for him. 

There were two devotions I read today (because I missed yesterday). And oh how fitting they were.

It's almost a relief to finally know that he feels something!  But it breaks my heart because I know how much it hurts. I think I know now what to call this post.