Tuesday, 25 June 2013


In 2 more days I find myself at the end of yet another school year.  The difference this time is that I have not worked.  It has been almost a year other than 3 days in September when I thought I would be going back.  I'm not sure I'm used to the idea or not.  There are many good things but the inner struggle of not having the option to go back is hard.  I find myself wishing it could somehow work out, but then thankful that I get to be here for my boys.  It's just that in some ways I feel like things haven't changed that much from a year ago.  I'm still struggling with this whole thing and I feel like I should be past it. Will there ever come a time when it isn't hard? 

We are going on a vacation for a couple of weeks and just the apprehension of being well enough to go and wondering how I'm going to get through the longer days that require lots of walking are worrisome.  I just don't want to screw it up by not feeling well or not being able to handle the days.  I also realize that I hate the hot weather.  Hate it.  The "experts" talk about an intolerance to heat and to some extent I knew it was an issue but after being outside for a brief time yesterday, I'd have to say that Shawn is right.  I definitely can't handle the heat like before.

Overall I'd say I'm just very anxious to go.  Shawn has been working long hours and Saturdays just so we can take this trip, but it's one that we need.  We just need to get away and relax and have fun together as a family.  That's why I am really afraid of ruining it by getting sick.  It's been a while since the last relapse and I know another one is coming...but when?

Thursday, 6 June 2013

Who Wants To Have Coffee?

Yesterday I was at Cole's track meet.  It was almost a perfect day out!  I sat in the bleachers and watched.  Nothing too over exurting.  I didn't even have to drive.  I came home, made some simple supper, took my son to his new schools open house and then went out and transplanted some plants for my garden.  Then I came in and was sooo tired.  My legs ached my arms ached.  And it's something like hitting a brick wall.  I didn't think I was that tired til it hit. 

I'm not sure I'll ever completely get used to it.  Maybe I'll start to expect it, but in my eyes it was a pretty easy going day.  I was up at 6:30 though and was on the go the whole day but still.

This was the 3rd track day in 2 weeks and there are more events for the kids, just because it's June.  I am fortunate enough to be able to go to all of these things now that I haven't been working.  There are many days though that I still have a hard time with that concept.  I like the thought of being home but I like the thought of working too and it's hard to grasp my head around not having a choice.  Maybe it would be different if there were more stay at home moms.  But most people work or stay at home but have little kids.  Which is okay too but I kind of feel on the outside having kids in school and staying home. Boy I miss the hockey season already.... because it was my social life.  Now I have to work a lot harder at having one.  People aren't as readily available to help me fill my time:) 

Soooo if you're bored call me!  LOL  I will do coffee almost anytime!