Sunday, 23 February 2014

The Secret Side

I'm laying here thinking about how this sucks. I can see it coming. I know the signs but sit in denial yet again. I've had symptoms for weeks now. Here and there. On and off. It's just been more constant. 

I woke up today with back spasms or cramping. I googled it. Only because I sometimes have no idea if it's a symptom or something else. It can definitely be related. So then I go to the rink and at intermission I feel like I have jello for legs. I get home and crash. Sleep for a good couple of hours only to wake up and have the left side of my face numb and weak legs. I go to the rink again and I wonder why I push myself. I don't know. I guess I just try to live as normal as possible and it's better than sitting around here.

My friend asks how I'm doing and I start crying. Right there in the rink full of people. I lay here with tingling legs. It's easy for me to put a brave face on. Kind of have a split personality. Lol. I tell you this especially for those who saw me today and think everything is fine, to say that things are not always as they appear. And to be real in this blogging experience. 

It's easy to hide things when you don't have a visible crutch. Everything is not always as it appears. It's like a secret side of life. So please be slow to judge. Not only in my case but in the case of others. You never know what life is like for someone else. So show them love and kindness instead of anger and ridicule. 

And thank you to my friend(s) for asking. :). Sometimes you just need a shoulder to cry on. xoxo


  1. Agh! That stinks! Praying it is a short episode.

  2. I always wonder how you are doing when I see you at the rink. You sure can hide it well. You also look so happy. I know from things here at home, things are not always as they appear. Thinking of you and hope you are feeling a little stronger again really soon.

  3. You are in my thoughts and prayers,Keep your faith in God,he will carry you through this..