Why Am I A Bear?

It has been encouraging to hear that people follow this blog.  Just yesterday someone came up to me and told me that they didn't want to "creep me out" but that they followed my blog and were praying for me and that I was encouraging others by doing this.  It's hard to see sometimes.  I see the numbers on the page of how many visitors there have been but sometimes wonder are people getting anything out of it?  I guess that brings me to the fact of always being real, always trying your best, because you may not see it but people are watching.

Having said that I did not have my best moments this morning.  I got mad at the kids over pop tarts. Yup pop tarts.  It's one of those "treats" for a breakfast.  I don't buy them often so when I do they can only have it every other day.  Usually there is two boxes of 12, so between the 3 of them there is 8 days worth of them, making it last about 2 weeks.  And yes you can do the math but I've double checked it already. LOL  Anyways long story short is there was fighting over someone hiding a box, someone didn't like the kind that was left so they thought they were entitled to the other kind which someone else had already cooked etc.  Then there were tears and and sarcastic comments thrown around....and I blew!  I grabbed the boxes, threw them in the recycle, told them to figure it out cause they were NEVER getting pop tarts again, and then proceeded to tell them to ASK me if they were ever going to get poptarts again.  No one dared answer and then I told them they better enjoy their last bites...because they were NEVER getting them again!  I then stormed off to my room, slammed the door and lay in bed. 

Okay so I did come out a few minutes later, but as I lay there I was thinking how I probably overreacted.  Maybe just a bit...but then I asked myself why?  Why have I been so short with them lately?  They say that MS can make you for lack of a better word "grumpy".  So was this something I can blame on MS or was this just not one of my finer "mom moments"?  I'm not sure, I don't know that you ever can tell.  It's the same for forgetfullness. When do you blame the MS and when do you say oh that's just normal, we all forget sometimes.  I guess I think it's when it becomes more prominent. 

I know I've had a shorter fuse lately and I'm usually pretty laid back so it actually is kinda scary cause I don't want to "lose it" on a regular basis. But I don't wanna make excuses for it either. I saw a video at church on Mother's Day which may be kind of fitting.  Maybe I just need a new mattress...check it out.