Thursday, 18 October 2012

Losing Independence

So I'm starting to understand that this is very unpredictable.  I had to cancel my volunteering engagement at the school today.  I think I bit off more than I could chew.  The last 2 days I felt great in the morning and completely exhausted by the afternoon.  Not just sleepy exhausted but my legs just didn't want to support me and my arms are really tired.  Today it's been like that since this morning, however I've still been out and about.  Now I need to do some more running around in a couple of hours.  I hope I can get through it all.

Yesterday I lost part of my sense of taste but only for a few hours.  It was the weirdest thing ever.  And it happened "just like that". One minute I could taste and then an hour later, I could hardly taste anything and I got extremely light headed.  I'm not sure what that was all about but it's worrysome.

I'm also getting really anxious for my results of my last MRI so I can start some meds.  It scares me that new things are happening and that it's not getting better on it's own.  It'll be 5 weeks tomorrow since this new bout has started so I had a good cry last night when I went to bed.  I don't really ask God why, but I get mad and say that this sucks!  I am quite independant and asking for help is actually just too much for me to do right now.  I just can't say that "I can't do it".  I don't want people looking at me weird when I ask for simple stuff.  I've had lots of people volunteer to help out but how do you ask someone to come over and do your dishes or wash your bathrooms or cook you food??  I just can't do that, I can't....Imagine phoning up your friend and saying "oh hey, how's it going?  By the way, can you come over some time and clean up my house?"  I hate looking normal but feeling so different!

I can, "just try" but it doesn't get the work accomplished fast enough to maintain a house. 


  1. Charis you already made the first step you have written it in your blog. Your friends will come help and you need to let them. You don't need to worry about asking for simpe things we all have times we need help even with little tasks. What you need to worry about is using all your energy to get well. Trust me the laundry isn't going anywhere nor are the dishes. Who cares about them your friends want you to put all your energy into yourself and let everyone else do the rest. My kids have been doing their own laundry and making their lunches since they were 11 and your boys can do it too! Trust me your future daughter in laws will thank you for it lol. Please meditate and rest and try to concentrate on you and only you xoxoxoxo Lisa

  2. Oh my boys do lots too! Even Connor makes his own lunch. lol They even know how to clean bathrooms! We do get very busy this time of year with hockey and that means everyone is at the rink and no one has time to do anything though. We have had the talk that by picking up after themselves, they create less work later! lol We'll see how long it takes for them to catch on :)